Change, change, change!

I admit I may be a bit quirky. There is a part of me that is extremely traditional and doesn't adjust well to change. However, there is this other part that is absolutely unable to deal with the "sameness" that life can become. This trait rears its ugly head in the more critical areas of life...such as which toothpaste I should purchase when the old one runs out. Now, if you ask my husband he will likely tell you that he has used the same toothpaste for the last 30 years. I mean, why change if you find something you like? This view does not work for me. I must have change, something new and different...maybe even refreshingly so. Toothpaste and shampoo are only two examples of how this desire impacts my day-to-day life. However, I should add here that there are some things that must NOT be changed. Shortening, for example...it has to be Crisco...the other brands just don't work the same (wow...do you think Crisco will read this and send me a free can???).

So...after all of this inane drivvel...perhaps you will gain a better understanding as to why I have opted to change my blog format after all these months. I really loved the old format; it was me. I'm even a bit sad to see it go. But...change is necessary here, and I feel somehow renewed by this bold move. Please share my joy.

Now I feel bad...

OK...just so you don't think Christmas was a total loss or anything (like my previous post may have led you to believe), let me assure you that there were many beautiful moments...(I can't believe we forgot our cameras when we had Christmas with Eric's kids...sheesh...)

On to 2008...

I don't know what's wrong me. I mean, I'm not sure I'm like everyone else. Just as SOON as Christmas is over, I have this deep inner need to have it GONE...all gone...all put away...no reminders.

Now, don't get me wrong...I really enjoy the Christmas season. I do tend to get a bit more stressed than I should, I admit...but still I enjoy it. This year, however, I just couldn't get in the swing of things. It wasn't until the week before Christmas that we finally got our Christmas tree and got out the Christmas decorations (which were much less than in past years). So...if you can see where this is going...today I took it all down. Good grief, it was only up for a week; you'd think I could stand to have it around for awhile. But NO...it has to go...all of it...now. Actually, the very day after Christmas I had my red nail polish off, replaced by a nice neutral tone.

So I'm feeling a bit better now. My sweet hubby got me a laptop for Christmas, so I'm sitting here in my recliner in the living room writing this, watching a Bowl game, and NOT looking at a nativity scene or little elves staring back at me. Life is good...

And God smiled...

So did anyone else in this part of the world notice? Yesterday was Christmas (no, that's not what I was referring to), and when I stumbled out of bed fairly early in the morning, this is what greeted my eyes as I peered out my window...and somehow, deep in my spirit, I knew God was joyfully announcing to the world that this day was his Son's birthday. Thank you, God...I was blessed...

Time flies...

My very first baby...

turned a quarter-century old today!

Happy birthday, Sweetheart. I love you way behind my back...

Profound thoughts at 7:00 a.m.

OK...so...I can't sleep...once again...

It seems like I've been awake for a very long time, so rather than lay there and ruminate over things that will seem much less important later in the day, I decide to get up and rummage through blog-land to catch up on some posts.

I have read much this morning...about joy, about questioning, about grief, and about more grief. I am left with some thoughts that have been tumbling around in my very little brain for some time now, but that have not been spoken. Very simply (because that's all I can muster right now)...

I love this world. I love the beauty, the friendships, my family, nature...most of the time, I really love being here. And God created all of this goodness for our pleasure, for which I am eternally thankful. But...

Another part of this world is just a crummy place sometimes. Believing in Christ and in his infinite goodness and love for us doesn't set us apart from experiencing it. Very wonderful Christians experience very deep pain. I have read this morning about friends experiencing incredible grief, deep fear, confusion. A friend with cancer, a friend losing a baby, a friend doing the hard work of deciding for faith instead of tossing it all in. That's where we are; that's this world. Jesus knows all of that. He knows what an imperfect place this is. He never said we would be immune from it. Sometimes things go the way we want, sometimes not. This would challenge the best theologian to question, to wonder, to try again to believe.

This world is infused with Satan and his plans. They are not good plans, and will end in destruction of everything and everyone here. Cheery thought, eh?

BUT...the rest of the truth is that as Christians our place here is only temporary. As wonderful as this life can be at times, there is something better ahead.

Jesus came to this world as a baby, ultimately, to rescue us! To give us a way out; to take us away to a place of perfection and limitless joy. Because He loves us.

The rest of the story? As an adult, Jesus allowed himself to be killed to "pay the price" for our imperfections, to "rescue" us from this happy/scary/miserable place. He has offered us a better place if we believe in Him and hang on...even through the hard times. He will take us away from here and won't allow us to be destroyed in Satan's final schemes.

There really is a place called Heaven, and we really can go there. Too good to be true? Almost...and even as I write these words I struggle with my doubt-nature.

Jesus loves us...ALL of us. He loves Mother Teresa, President Bush, Osama Bin Laden, Billy Graham...and US. And we all have the chance to be rescued if we believe in Him and His plan.

There is a much better way to say all of this theologically, but, as I stated earlier my brain just isn't up to it (plus I have to get ready for work). But...as I have written this the words to a very old (from my youth) song keep rumbling around...

This world is not my home, I'm just passing through
My treasures are laid up somewhere beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

O Lord you know I have no friend like you
If Heaven's not my home, then Lord what will I do?
The angels beckon me from Heaven's open door
And I can't feel at home in this world anymore.

What is faith?

A bit of a population explosion...

OK...so here's my story...


Long, long ago my parents had two girls...just my sis and me...that's all there is...just us...


Then, somewhere along the way, my sister had two girls...and then I had two girls. That's it...just two girls...for each of us...


Then a couple of years back my oldest daughter delighted the family with the first of a next generation...a GIRL...


Yes...it's true...my family just does girls.


But wait...no...Houston, we have a problem...a few months after the arrival of my little Olivia, one of my sister's daughters presented the family with a new member. But there was something seriously wrong here...something was just not right..."it" was a BOY. A BOY??? What are we going to do with a BOY??? So many new things to learn...like using extreme care when changing the diapers...you just don't have to worry about those things with a girl. Sigh...


However, in spite of all these "obstacles," something very strange happened. Little Noah immediately captured our hearts. His bright smile and red hair has managed to endear him to all of us. Imagine that...


Christmas became a much happier gathering time...the two families plus these two little cherubs...


OK...I guess boys aren't that bad after all...


But...then...without warning...my other daughter - and my sister's other daughter - and my sister's daughter (mommy of Noah) decided to all get pregnant at the same time...and BOOM...suddenly our family has become a small continent all of its own. We have two more boys and another girl...all born within 5 months.


It appears that gender really doesn't matter at all...and that Christmas definitely will never be the same...

TAGGED!

I've been tagged by Kathy (she seems to think I have been blog-silent too long) so here are 8 random things about me but first...1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts. 2. Each player starts with eight random facts/stories about themselves. 3. People who are tagged need to write their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules. 4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. 5. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

OK...here goes...

1) I used to live in a real, live (or dead) desert. It's true...my Daddy was the pastor of a very small Friends church in Holtville, California. It's down by the Mexico border in the Imperial Valley. I was in preschool at the time, but I remember how hot it was...and I remember finding a dead rattlesnake in the dirt road next to our house one day.

2) My older sister fed me mud one time. Back in the day...when we were living in the afore-mentioned desert...my Momma used to buy boxes of ice cream bars and popcicles so we wouldn't perish from the heat. Back behind our little parsonage, one day my sister found a discarded box that ice cream "Drumsticks" had come in. There was the bottom portion of the cone plus a few scattered chopped nuts in the bottom of the box. I'm sure she thought she was extremely clever when she filled the cone tip with mud and sprinkled the remainder of the nuts on top and then proceeded to pretend to take a big bite. "Try it...it's REALLY good..." were the words that led to my demise.

3) Regarding spiders and snakes...I absolutely detest spiders. I mean, they are one thing that can make me jump around shrieking and acting really girly. However, snakes are another story. I don't mind them at all...and I owe it all to my Uncle Glen, who used to work at OMSI and actually was the guy who created many of the cool "push the button" exhibits back in the day. Anyway, as a little kid I can remember going to work with him and carrying a snake around. Uncle Glen was also my cool uncle who had a huge snake living in his house...

4) When I was in college the choir I was a part of went on a tour in Europe. Now, that would be a cool enough fact in itself...we traveled to England, France, Germany...all in 16 days...but there is a specific story that stands out as a "unique" fact about me. One day, while sightseeing in London, I was suddenly taken ill. I'm talking VERY ill...so ill that I couldn't keep walking. I found a couple of steps outside of a shop and sat down in an attempt to compose myself enough to do something constructive about my dilemma. Next thing I knew, a "Bobbie" (London cop) came sauntering over to me and in his best British accent asked me, "are you drunk???" Come to find out, I was sitting on the steps leading up to a pub. Now...I could continue the story and tell you about how I finally went into the pub and inquired as to where the bathroom was...and how I went up a flight of steps and found a bathroom...but the story is so incredibly disgusting I will end my tale here.

5) Many people who know me now probably don't know that I graduated from college with a degree in Music Education. Have I ever taught music professionally? No...but the college degree does look incredibly impressive on my resume'.

6) I am absolutely fanatical about garage sales and thrift shops. When the spring/summer seasons arrive, I delight myself in busy Saturday mornings driving all over town in an attempt to find the perfect "treasure." It's not like I need anything else in my humble abode (ask my hubby; he'll tell you), but I have found some pretty amazing things over the years.

7) My latest adventure is my attempt to add a bit of additional income to our household. I am an official Avon representative. Um...I must be careful that my "additional income" doesn't get eaten up in Avon products...sigh...(by the way, let me know if you want to see a book!).

8) I LOVE to color. Yes, you heard me right. And...I must proudly admit that I have raised two beautiful, wonderful daughters who also share my love. We find those "grown-up" coloring books at stores; you know, the ones with intricate geometric designs or pictures. I believe at times it is a form of therapy...just relax and let the colorful creative juices flow...

OK...that's it. End of story. Watch out...I just might tag YOU...

Processing today's sermon...

Steve preached today, and it was thought-provoking for me. We talked about money - the love of it, the desire for more of it, the misconceptions surrounding the possession of it. And we talked about contentment.

We viewed a clip from the musical classic Fiddler On the Roof - you know, the place where Tevye is bemoaning the fact that God apparently chose to not bless him with an abundance of wealth (which, in true musical style, follows by him launching into a production of "If I Were a Rich Man").

What a delightful clip...yet how true of all of us.

During our quiet time during worship, I pondered this topic internally. My faith would tell me that I was having a dialogue with God. My faith tells me that He planted thoughts in my mind.

The desire for money isn't just wanting something new or bigger or better, though that definitely is a huge issue in our society that Steve spoke to very well. There is more than enough fodder here for an entire sermon on how to be content with what you have.

However, there is another side to financial desire that Steve spoke of that I likely identify with more acutely. I can remember so many times in my married years feeling like I wasn't going to make it financially. I so fervantly wished that I had more money...so I could pay my rent, so I could be current with the electric company, or even simply that I could purchase the rare treat of a big loaf of cheddar cheese for my family to enjoy. What does it mean to be content when you don't have enough to make it to the end of the month?

As I thought about this, I began to realize that there is more to contentment than simply being satisfied with what you have. True contentment goes much deeper than that, and its branches intertwine into virtually every area of our lives. In this sense, contentment doesn't mean that you have everything you need physically. For the Christian, true contentment means finding all we need in Christ, and leaving everything else in His hands.

Six words burned themselves into my mind as I sat in my pew...and I believe these words speak truth to every condition we find ourselves in, whether feast or famine, health or illness, happiness or despair...

KEEP...YOUR...EYES...FOCUSED...ON...JESUS.

I'm not sure why or how these words came to me, but I couldn't shake them. This is truth. As I keep the eyes of my spirit looking into the eyes of Christ, He will bring contentment to my soul. Real contentment. Lasting contentment. The kind of contentment that brings with it joy and peace.

I don't pretend to have mastered this area of my life...but I do believe in the truth of those words...and I know that as I follow their instruction I will be content.

As difficult as it has been to face hardship during my life, though, it is possibly rougher to witness my daughters go through the same types of struggles with their families, at times wondering how they are ever going to find the money to pay the next bill. This is painful for a Momma to watch, and even more painful when I can't always help.

So...these words that came to my mind I imagined myself speaking into the faces of my girls..."Keep your eyes focused on Jesus...keep your eyes focused on Jesus...keep your eyes focused on Jesus..."

Yet another moment of letting them go, of loosening my grip on my children, of allowing Christ to meet them where they are and bring them wholeness and peace.

May it be so.