Only You, God...

I've been reading "The Pursuit of God," by A.W. Tozer...a classic book, yet one I had never read before. I've been over the first two chapters a couple of times now...and I'm drawn in by the truth I'm finding in those pages. Following are a few of the "nuggets" of truth I'm finding...

• We only seek after God because He seeks after us, and has been drawing us to Himself.
  
• In seeking after Him, I must "proceed in the way of simplicity." Seek after God Himself, laying aside any "religious" tenets or practices we have known. In prayer I need to practice "stripping down of everything, even of our theology." Tozer goes on to say, "The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be necessary to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever."
  
• I have a new understanding of the meaning of the "poor in spirit," as mentioned in the Beatitudes ("blessed are the poor in spirit..." - Matthew 5). "Poor in spirit" would suggest a visual image of a poor, hunkered-down soul, someone who is waiting for others to walk over him. NO...the poor in spirit are those who have "rooted from their hearts all sense of possessing...no longer slaves to the tyranny of things. Though free from from all sense of possessing, they yet possess all things."
  
• OK...does this mean that I should not have possessions that I enjoy? Am I to sell all I have and follow hard after Christ? Tozer considers this question by reviewing the life of Abraham. In a nutshell, the fact that Abraham was excruciatingly willing to even give up his son if that is what God asked of him. In evaluating Abraham's surrender to God, Tozer says that Abraham was "a man wholly surrendered, a man utterly obedient, a man who possessed nothing." But wait...wasn't Abraham the guy with a bunch of tents and herds and servants and wealth? What do you mean, he possessed nothing? Tozer answers this question as well - "I have said that Abraham possessed nothing. Yet was not this poor man rich? Everything he had owned before was his still to enjoy: sheep, camels, herds, and goods of every sort. He had also his wife and his friends, and best of all he had his son Isaac safe by his side. He had everything, but he possessed nothing. There is the spiritual secret."

Wow...as these thoughts soaked into my psyche, I couldn't help but wonder what things I hold tightly. I know I am a hopeless collector/keeper of all things meaningful in life. I have several boxes of "scrapbook" stuff...things that I hope someday to put in some semblance of historic order. Old clippings, photos, things, stuffed animals, even precious kitchen utensils once held in the hand of my sweet mom. It is not wrong for me to love these things (nor is it a sin that they are in such disorder); however, do I simply enjoy these things, even treasure these things, or do I possess them?

Spiritually speaking, in my lifetime I have been exposed to many different schools of thought regarding the "spiritual life" and how it should be lived out. Do I take from those things what I feel is from God, or do I possess each idea as law for my life?

I can't help but get a mental image of a very small child desperately clinging to something he fervently desires but which is not good for him...and the adult who is trying equally as desperately to get this "thing" out of the child's clutches. I envision the white knuckles. I see needing to peel each finger off, one by one...I suspect any parent has had this experience.

What am I desperately clinging to? My love for my children/grandchildren/husband? My house? My attempts to achieve some level of financial security? Even my emotional baggage?

Am I willing to pray Tozer's prayer? - Father, I want to know Thee, but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part with them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from Thee the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that Thou mayest enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shalt Thou make the place of Thy feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for Thyself wilt be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

And then, finally, I read some of David's words from Psalm 31...

• I hate all this silly religion, but you, God, I trust.
• Love God, all you saints; God takes care of all who stay close to him.

More of you, Jesus...until the thing that matters supremely is you...